Now or Never
by breaktherules
Summary: AU story that takes place 4 years after episode 25. This is a yaoi that has multi pairings. L, Light and Near find out that unrequited love can have unexpected consequences when Mello is rejected. But by who? And where is Matt?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of it. This story is an AU that takes place four years after episode 25. Mello and Near are older and there are other surprises and it is a yaoi. It is not meant for under-age readers due to the sexual content. I hope you enjoy. Please review or FLAME AWAY! I NEED IT!

Now or Never

In retrospect, it was all L's fault, Mello decided.

_______

L dipped his finger into the whipped cream that topped his ice cream sundae as he studied a case file. There was a slight chill in the room due to the damp and dreary English weather. Sighing, the detective started to get up to fetch himself a sweater when there was a knock at the door.

"L, its Mello," called a deep voice from the other side of the door.

"You may enter," L said, as he pulled on the sweater, his heart beginning to race in anticipation. He had waited all month for this. Finally the wait was over and he had been so caught up in his work that he had forgotten that this was the day.

A handsome young man with long blonde hair with bangs entered the room. He had his hair pulled back into a ponytail that lay flat against his neck and he still looked very masculine. He wore a tight black designer suit that fit his slim body perfectly. He was one of L's detectives-in-training and in line to be his successor one day. Right now, he served as a replacement for Watari, though there was no one who could ever take Whammy's place. L missed him more than he ever believed he could.

"The prisoner is here," Mello said, not sounding the least bit happy about it. "Shall we excute him today?"

L walked over to him and stroked his face. "I know how you feel about him, Mello. I'm sorry you don't like him," the detective said, his ebony eyes searching the blue ones of the Russian born man. L reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulled out a bar of chocolate, and handed it to Mello. "Here, I bet this will make you feel better."

The blonde took it but looked angrily at his beloved mentor. "I'm not a child anymore, L. Chocolate can't fix what happened! I just don't like him, I HATE him!," he yelled as he turned around and left the room, making sure he didn't make look at the prisoner as he left for fear he would do something he might regret.

How could L love someone like that when he had loved L since he was nine years old? Why couldn't L see he would do anything for him and had always been willing to please him?

IF anybody deserved L's love....

It was him.

Chapter 2- This chapter was meant to be short but I hope you liked it anyway. Chapter 2 is coming right up!


	2. Chapter 2 That Old Fascination

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. This is an AU story that takes place four years after episode 25. Mello and Near are both slightly older in this story making Mello 23 and Near 21. This chapter has very explicit yaoi sex in it (guy on guy) so please do not read if you are under-age or easily offended. Please review or FLAME AWAY!

**Now or Never**

Chapter 2 – That Old Fascination

The prisoner's clothes lay on the floor of L's spacious and opulent bedroom, the handcuffs and leg-chains lay neglected on the floor. L, who had sent him to jail, was busy making the most of the man's weekend visit.

-X-

The room was dark and the room was quiet except for the two men who were making up for lost time as they lay on a large four poster bed and L was hovering over his lover trying best to please him.

"Ah…yes, that's it L, suck my cock," the auburn-haired man moaned as the detective took Light Yagami, also once known as Kira all the way in his mouth and sucked him as hard as he could, as his long fingers played at his lovers hole and teased it. he could feel Light quiver underneath him and that made him glad that he could cause such a reaction.

"Please suck me harder and faster," Light gasped, and with that, L increased his speed and shoved a finger into his lover's ass. The auburn-haired man cried out in pleasure as he came, his cum quickly coating the inside of the detective's mouth.

L swallowed, then slowly sucked Light's penis making sure he coaxed every drop out of his lover, before moving his mouth away.

A sweaty Light pulled the detective to him. As L embraced his lover, he looked down into his handsome face.

"Did that please you, Light-kun?" he asked softly, his hand running through his lover's auburn locks. L's ebony eyes met the amber ones that once would strike fear into him, but now they were only filled with love for him.

Light planted a kiss on his lips before responding. "Well, I think you swallowed the answer to that question, L. And, you don't have to use the "kun" after my name anymore. I think we are past that stage, though I still find it rather endearing."

"I've missed you very much, Light," L said, as he snuggled against his lover's warm skin. "I wish you could be here with me always. I love you."

Light kissed L's pale chest. "I love you too. I thought that this day would never come, It's so lonely at the jail. But at least I'm alive and that's more than I deserve. If it wasn't for you fighting for my rights, I would be dead. And after all I did to you- I'd expect you to hate me, yet you love me. I am so grateful for that." Light said, his amber eyes blinking bsck what L suspected were tears.

"Light-kun.." L began, but suddenly he felt Light's expert hands caressing his well-endowed member. "I'm going to make it up to you the best way I can" Light said as he stroked the detective until he was hard, then he reached across the bed and handed his lover the lube.

"Fuck me hard, L," Light said, as he rolled over unto his stomach. "Please, I want you to."

L knew that this was a difficult decision for Light who liked to be in control and liked to be Seme. But both men had strong personalities and L liked to be Seme too. They tried to keep it even, but L usually ended up with Light inside of him.

"As you wish, Light-kun," L said his voice thick with desire and hands shaking as he spread the lubricant over Light's hole and inserted a finger inside, then added two more as Light moaned. The detective scissored the three fingers in and out until Light suddenly pressed down hard on L's fingers and in a strangled voice said, "Fuck me now!"

L lifted Light's hips and slowly began to enter his lover.

"Are you comfortable, Light-kun?" he asked, his voice a bit shaky as he entered the tight hot heat of his true love.

"Go deeper! I need all of you inside of me. Fill me up, please," Light begged, then trailed off into a long breathless moan as the detective pushed into him in a hard quick motion, then pulled in and out of him in long slow strokes.

"Yes…ah…L…yes.." Light moaned, as L reached around and began to fist his lover's erection.

"You feel so hot and so good, Light-kun," L moaned, as Light's hand encircled his around his erection. L then removed his hand so he could concentrate on hitting Lights prostrate.

The auburn-haired man angled his hips as L gripped his lover's waist and kept thrusting. His vision began to blur and he could feel his own orgasm approaching.

Luckily, Light was almost about to come too. "L, I'm about to come….My God….Ah!"

"Light-kun…."

Their moans filled the room as they came.

-X-

Unluckily for Mello he just happened to be walking by L's room and could hear their moans.

He almost became sick before running out of the area.

-X-

After, they stood in the shower, the warm water washing away the sweat and other signs of their lovemaking. L shampooed his lover's hair, as he did so Light sighed and leaned back against the detective. "It's so much easier to take a shower without the handcuffs," Light remarked.

"I agree, Light-kun, it is much easier," L agreed, but in his heart he didn't regret what tactics he used to discover who Kira really was. The detective thought is was **because** of those handcuffs that he was able to fall in love with Light and maybe that's why Light fell in love with him.

L changed the subject as he rinsed the shampoo from Light's hair. "I've just used the brand you mentioned that all the celebrities and models in Japan use," he said, as he turned his lover around to face him.

Light blinked a couple of times before breaking out into a huge smile. "You bought me Nori? That's the most expensive hair care line in Asia!" he exclaimed, his amber eyes dancing.

He embraced L, both of them dripping wet from their shower, but neither man seemed to mind.

"L, you are so good to me." Light said softly and kissed the detective's neck.

"I would do anything for you, Light-kun," L said, his voice deep with emotion. He loved the younger man very much and only hoped that Light felt the same way.

Light pulled away, the corners turning up into that familiar smirk. L had to learn to not let it strike fear into him because it was NOT Kira's smirk only Light's which usually meant he was going to be mischievous.

Part of L still hated that smirk though.

L stared at his lover's face looking for any secrets that were hidden there. He broke out of his spell as Light moved away, then came back and began toweling off the detective's back and shoulders.

Light paused to whisper in L's ear. "You really would do **anything** for me? Then let me fuck you." he said, as he grabbed L's erection and began to pump his fist over it.

"Ung!" L gasped. "I thought just buying your favorite hair care line would be enough to please you."

"There is just one more thing I want." Light said, as he pulled L to him….

Chapter 3- Cover My Eyes

A/N- I'm sorry this is so explicit but it is a yaoi and it is under the mature section. Please review? I am curious as if this chapter was a decent lemon.


	3. Chapter 3 Cover My Eyes

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note. This is story takes place four years after episode 25 of Death Note. It is an AU where L and Mello are still alive. I have added 3 years to both Mello's and Near's ages making them 22 and 20. There are many twists to this story and things to explain so I hope you will let me know if you are reading. This is a mature story with explicit yaoi in some chapters.

**Now or Never**

Chapter 3- Cover my Eyes

Mello walked along the nearly empty streets of London in the gray and misty pre-dawn hours without a thought of his safety.

He still couldn't get the sounds of his beloved mentor and that…that crazy mass murderer out of his head. His stomach was still in knots and he just felt betrayed. How could L love that man when he had tried to kill him and succeeded in killing Watari…and….

Mello pulled the hood of his black hooded jacket closer to his face as silent tears flowed from his eyes.

"L's going to be mighty pissed at you, Mels." A familiar voice echoed in his head. "You skipped out of all your responsibilities just to visit our old hangouts. If I was there I'd give you a good spanking."

"Matt….I know you are not really here, I think I'm going insane from missing you. I don't want to be without you..but I know that you are gone and that fucking mass murderer killed you!" Mello screamed, as he strode down the street unaware that passerby were watching. He didn't care that they saw a young, slim blonde man wearing a sweat jacket with skulls printed on it, jeans and stylish boots pass them by screaming as if he were communicating with a ghost.

-X-

10 years ago-

Whammy's house-

Mello gasped in surprise as he watched as L walked into the library. The young blonde boy had only seen the man he would one day succeed a few times. Mello nudged Matt who grudgingly looked up from his DS.

"So?" Matt whispered.

"It's L." Mello said, as if that explained everything.

" And I'm about to win this game," the redheaded boy said, turning his attention back to his DS.

Mello nervously got up and went to stand by L. The detective was running his finger down the row of books, obviously looking for a certain one.

"Can I help you, Master L?' Mello asked.

At this, L seemed to startle. He turned and looked at the blonde boy and studied him.

Mello felt like L's black endless gaze was sucking him in. His breath quickened and he suddenly wanted to run away.

"Here, Mr. L, I think this is the book you were looking for," said a boy white curly hair and eyes the color and shape of L's.

L smiled. "Thank you, Near. This was exactly the book I needed. That was very good work." he told the young boy as he patted him on the head.

Mello hated Near. He felt his face grow hot as L turned around and didn't even give him a second glance. Before he knew what he was doing, he had reached out and grabbed the back of the detective's white t-shirt.

"What about me? I asked to help you and you ignore me!" Mello yelled, as L twisted around and faced the boy.

"I'm sorry for that, Mello." L said, as he reached into the pockets of his jeans. "I know you have a fondness for chocolate, so if I give you this will you forgive me?" he teased as the boy reached out and grabbed the chocolate and began to unwrap it.

"Yes, and thank you," Mello said, as L ruffled his hair and shuffled out of the room.

"He's weird," Matt said, as Mello sat down next to his friend. "He didn't even acknowledge me and I'm third in line to be a successor."

"He's wonderful…" Mello sighed, as he leaned against Matt and finished the rest of the chocolate.

-x-

4 years later-

Matt brushed back Mello's sweaty bangs from his forehead and kissed him softly on the lips, before sitting up in their small bed and lighting a cigarette.

"You want to go again, Mels?" Matt asked, his hand reaching down to stroke Mello as his other hand was holding his constant cigarette over an overfilled ashtray.

"You've wore me out, Matty. Let's just get some sleep and then start again in the morning," Mello responded, as he reached for his half-eaten choclate bar on the bedside table.

"I kinda was hoping you'd say that. I'm pretty knackered myself." Matt responded, as he took one final drag from his cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray.

"Those things will kill you," Mello said, as Matt rested his head against the blonde man's shoulders listening to the crack of the chocolate as it echoed in the small room.

"Not if I can help it," Matt laughed. "Anyway, if they do, I'll be too old to care."

-X-

Present time

Whammy's house-

While Light was in the shower, L had tried calling Mello but hadn't received a response. L tried calling on the emergency number that Mello left but it went straight to voice mail.

'Where IS he? This is most unlike Mello. I'll have to try and put a trace on that one phone since I secretly bugged it about a year ago as a precaution' the detective thought as Light walked into the room in a robe with his hair dry and styled to perfection.

"I hope you don't ever go bald, Light-kun, it would be a fate worse than death for you," L quipped, as he held a cell phone in his hand.

"Ha-ha, L," Light said, and then his tone turned serious. "What's wrong?"

"Mello seems to have vanished and I don't know why," L explained, and then he began dialing the numbers on the cell phone.

-X-

Near lived to solve cases because his ultimate goal was to become more valuable than L. He was going to do all he could to reach that goal because he had nothing else in his life besides the cases. He did not need burdensome emotions like love or hate.

Irritation was another matter though.

"Near, I need you to please go find Mello and tell him to return home" an worried L asked into the phone.

Near sighed. He was warm and comfortable where he was. L needed a servant for things like this. He certainly was rich enough.

"I'm busy, L. If you want me to solve your cases then let me do the work. I don't have time to play nurse-maid to a grown-man." Near responded coolly as he sat at his desk immersed in case-files.

"Then I will have to re-assign my case files to someone else who will **do as I ask!**" L yelled into the phone so loudly that Neat almost fell off his chair. L **nev**er yelled and he was because of Mello?

"Um, Near can you bring our breakfast as well?" a embarrassed sounding L asked Near.

-X-

Light stared in shock at the display of temper that L just showed. He stared at the broken phone that lay smashed into pieces from where it hit the wall where L had thrown it.

Light had seen displays of L's temper before- he had usually been the cause of them, but to see his lover act this upset over that silly priss Mello? Had he underestimated what the blonde man meant to L, for the detective rarely got excited over those he didn't care about.

"And here I thought my sexual skills caused you to yell louder for me this morning," Light quipped as he leaned over and smoothed back L's unruly mop of hair.

"I'm sorry, Light-kun, it's just that Mello can be so infruitating! He took off and I can't contact him," L explained.

"L, can't you see how much he hates me? I ruined his life and almost killed you. He wants to see me dead, not in your bed!" Light explained. "But I didn't think you cared about that punk like that. Maybe you have some feelings for him, even if his taste in clothes in terrible," Light said, moving close to L and stroking his knee.

"I only have love for Light-kun," the detective said as the two lover's started kissing. "I hope so," Light whispered as his tongue ran to circle L's ear.

There was a quick series of knocks on the door. L broke away from light and undid the locks and opened it. An angry and dishelved Near plopped down L's breakfast tray and then Light's.

"Here's your breakfast, Yagami. Eat it and choke." Near said before turning and leaving the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Stupid L, Why in the world won't he hire new servants?" Near said as he left to go find Mello.

-X-

Mello knew that he was going to be in trouble when he returned to Whammy's but hopefully Light would be back on his way to prison by the time he made it back. He just couldn't watch the man he loved be with the man he hated more than anything. He had to convince L that he was the better man and that Light was still evil.

He had to convince L that Kira was still among them, even if he had to turn him back into that killer.

Then that mass murdering bastard could be executed, and it would be out of L's hands.

Mello didn't stop to think if it was wrong or right to think and plan these things. He lost Matt because of Kira and he had almost lost L forever, but he lived. But he was still in the clutches of Kira.

Things had to happen soon. It was now or never.

Chapter 4 – In For The Kill

A/N- I hope there are some fans of L and mello though they may not end up as the pairing in this story. I just wanted to explore this story of Mello that I wrote. I will explain how L lived and how Light tried to kill him when he was Kira. I will also explain Matt's death though he is certainly alive in Mello's head.

Please review. Just a line to let me know if you are reading because I hate to write a story nobody likes.

Review? Please?


	4. Chapter 4 In For The Kill

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. This is an AU story set four years **after** episode 25. I have also added three years to Mello's and Near's ages making them 22 and 20. This story will have yaoi in it and it will be explicit sex in some chapters.

Please Review.

'' means thoughts

**Now or Never**

Chapter 4- In For the Kill-

Mello's stomach clenched as he walked up to the door of Whammy's House. He hated knowing that L was probably watching him on one of the many cameras throughout the mansion.

'I've got to face him sometime' Mello thought as he gave the necessary series of knocks, and Roger opened the door, motioned the blonde man into his office, and closed the door.

Then he began to speak…

"Ah, you've decided to grace us with your presence, Master Mello. The whole orphanage has been in an uproar because L could not find you." Roger said, then stopped and looked up and down at the blonde man. "I don't even want to know what you were doing but you obviously weren't going to a cultural event.'

Mello slumped against the wall of Roger's office, arms folded, head down and his booted ankles crossed. He was closed down to Roger's diatribe because he knew L's would be worse.

"Has that mass murderer left yet?" Mello asked still looking at the ground.

Roger hesitated for a moment before responding. "Was that the reason you took off? I know you probably have more reason to feel like you do about Light Yagami than most of us do, but until Master L comes to his senses- all we can do is put up with it."

Mello finally looked up. "He's going to come to his senses soon. Light Yagami will not be coming here anymore for playdates if I can help it." The blonde man said, venom oozing out of his every word, as he turned around and left Roger's office.

Roger wondered if he should tell L, then decided against it, why should he do anything to help Yagami, for he had killed Whammy and countless others.

-X-

Though Mello left Roger's office full of bravado, but in reality he was not ready to face L. Since Mello's bedroom was not too far from the detective's room, he ducked into the office him and Near shared because he was scared he may run into L if he went to his bedroom quite yet.

As usual, Near didn't even make a movement as Mello slunk in. The blonde checked the pocket of his jeans making sure that he had the items he had went to a dangerous part of London for.

"So you decided to come back? Thank God. I was L's and his precious serial killer's servant all day until the guards from the jail finally came and took him home. He did not look quite so handsome wearing his arm and leg chains," Near finally, said with his tone full of dry sarcasm as he swirled around to look at Mello.

Mello's green eyes met Nears.

"You're dressed like you were when Matt was still alive, like a normal street punk instead of a male Model," Near observered, thinking that wherever Mello had been he had also probably done something that may not have been the right thing. Mello sometimes would use any means necessary to achieve his goal, while Near was content that his hard work and intellect would get him where he wanted to be in the end.

Mello blinked under Nears intent gaze. The younger man suddenly reminded him of L and a witty one at that. Mello looked away.

"I've already heard it from Roger, so I don't need to hear it from you. And at least I **shower and get dressed everyday** so don't give me your opinion on clothes!" Mello said, as he began to turn from the room.

"L doesn't change his clothes regularly either, Mello. Maybe you could get with Matsuda, that is if he swings the way you want," Near said, laughter in his voice.

Suddenly Mello was leaning over Near, his hands tightly gripping Near's arms. The white haired boy was all too aware that the blonde man's body was leaning dangerously close to his.

"I'm curious Near. Which way do you swing?" Mello asked his voice deep and husky. His green eyes stared down into younger man's.

Near's brilliant mind went blank. He really had never considered it before. "I'm...not ...sure." he said quietly.

Suddenly Mello pulled Near to him. Near's heart pounded as their lips met, and the blonde man kissed him hungrily…almost savagely…but the younger man couldn't imagine anyone else kissing him now. He was disappointed when the blonde broke the kiss and pushed himself off Near..

"You don't need to answer that question. I already know the answer." Mello said as he was walking out of their study. He pointed at his top lip. "You might want to put some ice on that," he suggested to the younger man.

Near immediately began twirling a strand of his curly white hair around his fingers.

-X-

L watched with a mix of horror and rapt interest as Mello roughly leaned over Near and kissed him very harshly, then walked out of the room to his own. The detective watched as Near sat there just staring into space, before getting up and rushing to the sink, where he turned on the cold water and splashed his eyes repeatedly. L knew he was crying because he had always had feelings for Mello, but he was just like L himself and didn't know how express them.

Poor Near. He knew if he needed him he would come to him.

He tried to view Mello in his room, but Matt had been a genius at showing Mello how to dismantle or block surviellance camera's. L could only see parts of the room and the detective knew that he was going to have talk to the blonde man about the importance of being a successor and if Mello couldn't take it serious, he would find a new one. L didn't want that at all.

Mello. If he had never met Light-kun, he probably would have asked the younger man on a date. But Light-kun was perfect.

'_No, he isn't. He would have been evil with or without that notebook! He killed Matt! He killed Watari! He almost killed you!_

Lcould hear all the arguments against Light-kun in his head. Most of the world thought that Kira should be excuted, even now after L had explained it had been a supernatural influence that caused to the once innocent Japanese schoolboy to turn evil.

L sighed. He didn't want to think about all of this tonight. Between keeping Light-kun happy and worrying about Mello, he was ready for bed.

There was a short series of knocks on the door that indicated that it was someone close to L. The detective looked out the peephole and saw the top of Mello's blonde head.

He opened it and took a step back, before remembering his manners, "Come In, Mello," he said.

Mello walked in, his blonde hair freshly washed, dried, and hanging loose, while he wore a teal silk robe with Japanese slippers. He carried two cups of coffee; one was extra sweet with tons of sugar, whipped cream and a cherry which he handed to L. Mello just had his coffee black.

"I know you're mad at me L and you have every right to be. I'd just thought if we discuss it like this maybe you won't be quite so angry at me." Mello said, as he sat down on L's couch.

L was busy guzzling the coffee and Mello smiled to himself.

Maybe this plan would go off easier than he thought…

Chapter 5- ?

A/N= I know – no one is reading or likes this story. I have done my best in explaining the ages (that they are older in this AU story). This is a Mello story had he lived in my universe. Pairings are not set in stone, most people hate Mello and L even if I have made them the same ages as if L had survived till Light died (he was 23) so L is 29 and Mello 22. Anyway, Near and Light both are here so the end pairings are a secret- though I doubt anyone cares to read until the end. If you do like the story, please review and let me know whom'd you'd like Mello with.

In addition, I WILL explain how Matt died, how L survived, how Light was caught and how Watari died.

Please review. Thank you.


	5. Chapter 5 I'm not Your Toy

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. This story is set in a universe where it is four years **after** episode 25. Mello and Near are adults in this and Mello is 22 and Near 20. L and Light are the same ages as anime (29 and 23) There may be explicit yaoi in future chapters. No pairings are set.

Please review. Constructive Feedback is appreciated!

Happy Holidays to you!

**Now or Never**

Chapter 5 – I'm not your Toy

Mello's heart began racing as he watched his beloved mentor drink the extremely sweet coffee he brought to him. The blonde man then tried to strike the most provocative pose he could so that maybe he could tempt L into letting him stay. He hoped that L would notice how the teal of the robe set off his eyes and he slightly swung his mane of long blond hair around.

L put down his coffee cup and looked down at the blonde man. Mello, who's real name was Miheal Keehl, was almost a full-blooded Russian, and was wearing a crucifix under his robe. The detective could see the outline of it, bent down, and lightly reached out to touch it.

Mello's eyes widened and he mistook L's curiosity for something else. Finally, L was going to give him what he had always wanted. His heart was pounding so fast as he saw the detective come forward to him.

Mello wrapped his arms around the detectives and placed his mouth over his. So warm and tasty sweet…

L's mind went blank and for a second his tongue met Mello's until he realized that this was not Light-kun, this was a misunderstanding. L went stiff and tried to disengage from the blonde man, but he was holding him so tight....

Mello had melted into L, loving the sweet taste of his mouth and was so glad that the detective felt the same way. This feeling lasted all of ten seconds until L pushed him off him away from him.

Mello sat in shocked silence as reality hit him hard. L didn't want him. He had just made a fool of himself. The blonde man could feel the tears that threathened behind his blue eyes and he knew if he looked up unto those ebony eyes of L that he would no longer be able to control himself. Without looking up, he pulled his crucifix from his neck. "Here, you can have it. It was what you were interested in…it wasn't me," Mello whispered sadly.

"Mello, I …I don't know what to say. I do have feelings for you but I love Light-kun. He's been my partner for years now and all of a sudden you decide you want me." L said gently, as he crouched down next to the blonde man. "You took off in a huff yesterday and I was very worried. If I didn't love you I wouldn't care where you went."

Mello gasped for air as he felt his temper rise and face grow hot. "I left because I couldn't stand to hear you make love to that maniac! His only goal in life when he wasn't in jail was to kill you off and he almost succeeded! How could fall in love with him? Mello asked, hot angry tears finally falling down his cheeks as he stood up and faced L. "How could you do that to Near and I?"

"The notebook made Light-kun evil as I've explained countless times, he's not Kira anymore. It has been four years and he has not done anything wrong. He's a model prisoner and he'll be in jail until he dies," L said, his ebony eyes boring into Mello's. "What else can I do?" he asked as he put a hand on the blonde man's shoulder and handed him a tissue. "I can never live a normal life with Light-kun so I suffer too. We both are lonely souls without our lovers…"

"He got Matt killed! You see, touch, and make love to yours again but what about me? Your lover killed mine! And I love you so I..."

"What do you want me to do?" L said quietly, his hand stroking underneath his chin.

"Make love to me, L. You are not married to him; he deserves some payback for all he did. I won't tell…I won't." Mello whispered in L's ear, rubbing his silk clad robe body against the detective. "Please..."

L looked at Mello sadly, as he put his thumbnail near his lip. The detective would love to be with Mello, for he was smart and beautiful but his commitment and love for Light-kun was stronger.

"I am sorry Mello. I cannot do what you want though I am extremely flattered by your offer." L said.

"Damn you! Don't you realize what that serial killer did to me? What I lost because of him?" the blonde yelled at L, then opened the door of the bedroom and ran out.

"Yes." L answered sadly Mello's question to the empty air. Mail Jeevas had been a very intelligent boy and his 3rd in line to be his successor.

-X-

Mello was on his fifth swallow of Vodka, then he chaseded it with beer. He was all cried out and decidedly falling out of love with L at this moment. If he could just strike up a deal with the Gods to bring back Matt or let Light Yagami die then he might be a happy person.

The trip into London hadn't been just for visiting old hangouts. Mello had some important personal business to attend.

There was a knock on the door, and Mello hurriedly shoved the items in a bag and stuck it under his bed.

"C'mon in," Mello said, still in his teal robe and hair loose.

Near opened the door and his dark eyes swept the room before resting on Mello. A faint blush colored the white-headed boys face as he quickly moved his gaze from the blonde man.

"L sent me here to check on you. I don't think he'll be happy if I say you're lying here on drunk on the floor, would he?" the younger-man responded, twirling a white piece of hair around his finger.

Mello held up a hand from his position on the floor. "C'mere, and help me up, Near," he slurred, as the younger man walked over. "If you don't tell L, I'll reward you," the blonde teased.

"You want me to just pick you up and carry you to bed?" Near asked sarcastically, since Mello was lying in on the floor in front of his bed. "And I don't need any reward, but I won't tell L this time."

"Would you cuddle with me for a momen?" the blonde said, forgetting that he had hated Near all his life. Now he reminded him of L, the same eyes, facial features and unruly hair. Mello just wanted to be someone's partner. His ambition died when Matt died.

Near tried to keep a cool head. He had never hated Mello but the blonde had depised him on sight and the white-headed man knew he had grown up to look like L but without jutting jaw and ebony hair. Mello's crush on L was no secret and Near didn't want to be caught up in his game.

Near picked Mello up and then tossed him on the bed. The blonde turned to him with a sexually predatory smile. "That was hard and rough, just how I like it! Should I get out the handcuffs?"

Mello watched the emotions play across Nears face before settling back into his usual bored mask. "I think you need to stop drinking and go to bed. You've got to get a hold of yourself Mello, or something bad may happen to you." the younger boy said, as the blonde man broke out in tears.

"Shh, I didn't mean that. Everything will be okay." Near soothed, as he laid a trembling hand on top of the blonde's head and sat there until he fell asleep.

-X-

Five hours later-

L and Near were asleep. Mello disabled all the cameras he could find in his room, before reaching into the paper bag and slowly he pulled it out.

Three sheets. He smiled as he picked up a pen and began to write.

Here was the first step to changing his world…

-X=

Chapter 6- Mad World

A/N= Here's the latest installment in my story that no one likes, lol. It's getting crazier as Mello is getting crazier. I've tried to tone L down and not have him over-act. I think Near is more or less in Character, let me know if you think not. Mello does NOT have the scar in this story. This story never took on the events from episodes 27 on. It is an AU.

Please let me know if you are reading this or not. Thank you so much!


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER- I do not own Death Note. This story is set in an alternate universe that is set four years after the events of episode 25. a and Near are grown (Near is 21 and Mello is 23). This story contains yaoi so you have been warned. Fan fiction is hard work so please raise my sagging spirits by leaving a review. Thank you

**Now or Never**

Chapter 7-

Mello woke up with a terrible headache and discovered three things- he had fallen asleep in the flimsy robe that he had hoped would tempt L, his fingers were cramped and were still holding a pen, and he had scribbled two names across the page of the Death Note.

Gasping and scrambling to a sitting position, Mello let out a small cry as he realized what he had done in his drunken stupor. He was now a killer. He ran a hand through his blond locks and tried to calm himself down.

"Heh, heh. So ya couldn't go through with it, could ya?" a gruff voice asked in amusement.

Mello turned and saw a dark furred shinigami wearing a silver belt and a kilt-like skirt. He was at least 8 feet tall and had red eyes and extremely sharp-looking teeth.

Mello stifled a scream and pushed himself off the floor to face the Death God. "You are Light Yagami's shinigami, am I correct?" the blonde man asked.

The creature laughed. "I'll tell you but first ya have to give me an apple."

Mello crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "I'm sorry but I'm all out of apples, but you have already answered my question," he said. "I remember that Kira's Death God liked apples."

The shinigami bounced on Mello's bed. "I'm not Light's shinigami anymore. My name is Ryuk and since you used a page of my Death note to kill two prisoners- it seems that you are my new owner. Who knows, you may become more interesting than Light was," the creature said with a gleam in his eye.

Mello groaned. "I can't believe this is happening!" he said as he stared at the Death note page in his hand. "I should have killed Light but I just couldn't. That bastard should be dead!"

The blond could feel Ryuk's eyes boring into him. "Why didn't ya?" the Death God asked.

Mello dropped back to the floor clenching the death note page in his fist. "Because as much as I hate Light, I couldn't kill L's lover because I couldn't hurt him like that."Mello said, his blue eyes staring off into space as he hugged himself with his arms. He was a failure and now a killer and it had all been for L who did not love him.

The blonde man could feel the Death God's eyes on his back. That was really annoying him. He turned to face Ryuk who was watching him with interest.

"Quit staring at me like that!" Mello snapped at the shinigami as he ran a hand through his blonde hair, turned around to pull open a desk drawer to pull out a bar of chocolate.

"MMM, since you don't have any apples, chocolate will do just fine for a treat," Ryuk said, ogling the expensive bar of chocolate that Mello favored.

"You can have ONE bar and that's it!" the blonde man said as he tossed a candy bar to Ryuk then collapsed into a chair. "God, I can't let on to L and Near that I did anything with that Death note page." Mello said, as he folded the rest of the note and put it inside of a book that had a lock on it.

Ryuk watched as Mello suddenly stopped what he was doing and turned around and looked up at Ryuk. "Will you help me get rid of Light and get L to fall in love with me? I'll get you all the apples and chocolate you want," the blonde pleaded.

The shinigami looked at him and just laughed.

XXX

L was looking at a case file when Watari walked into the room. "Master L, Near has requested to speak to you as soon as possible." he said.

The detective glanced over at the the older man. "Of course, Watari. If he needs to speak to me it must be urgent." L said as he stroked his chin thoughtfully. He was still worried about Mello and wondered if this had anything to do with him. He knew the blond man had feelings for him but he had miscalculated on just how much Mello cared.

L sighed. He loved Mello but it was complicated. They had a lot in common but L's heart belonged to Light.

A sharp knock at the door interrupted L's thoughts. A disheveled Near walked in and walked up to L's desk. The detective glanced up in surprise at the younger man. "What's happened, Near?" he asked, seeing the tightness of the younger man's jaw.

"I just found out that two prisoner's died last night at the jail where Light is staying." Near said, as he watched L's jaw drop in shock.

L felt a sudden tightness in his chest. "How did they die?" the detective asked, dreading the answer.

"They both died of heart attacks, I suppose you realize that Light is the prime suspect." Near said, looking at L with sadness. He never liked Light but he hated to see L's heart broken again.

L nearly dropped the cup of sugared coffee he was holding "No…it couldn't be Light, he's on constant surveillance, and besides, he wouldn't do that anymore because he's been redeemed!" he cried.

Near looked over at the older man. "You know we'll have to follow protocol on this matter. Light will have to be punished."

Chapter 8-

Please review!


End file.
